Dude are you on something?
by ColferFan1217
Summary: Kurts acting strange, whats going on? read to find out:  and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Own Glee:(**

**an: This story based on things that happened to Chris Colfer(tweets mostly)  
><strong>

All of New Directions, except Kurt, was waiting in the choir room for Mr. Schue, so they could start Glee. Everyone was talking amongst themselves when Tina spoke up.

"Hey, where's Kurt?" she asked the room full of people. Everyone looked around, finally noticing that their favorite diva wasn't there.

"Do you think something happened?" Mercedes asked starting to panic. All the girls started to get nervous too, wondering if something bad happened to Kurt.

They were full blown panicking until Finn spoke up remembering that Kurt told him he was gonna be late. He wasn't feeling good so he went to go see the nurse.

The room started to calm down, but the girls were still worried about their sick friend. Conversations were starting to pick up when the choir room door was slammed open revealing their missing teammate.

Kurt entered the room giggling and whispering to himself, when he froze in the middle of the room. He looked at each of them, and when he stopped at Rachel he started to freak out. He ran and hid behind the piano yelling out I'm sorrys at Rachel.

Everyone was looking at Kurt, wondering what's going on and why he was sorry to Rachel.

Rachel stepped forward, trying to calm Kurt down. "Kurt?" she asked. " What's wrong, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it." Kurt replied. "I didn't mean to beat you up and steal your car." he said with tears in his eyes.

That earned questionable looks from the others, especially Rachel. " Kurt, what are you talking about?"

"I had to beat you up and steal your car," Kurt replied. "I'm sorry, but the yellow brick road was way too long and I was tired." Kurt said trying to defend himself.

Everybody was wondering what the hell was going on until they heard Santana start to laugh.

"Oh my god," Santana said laughing. "This is too good" She was laughing so hard that her eyes started to water.

"What's so funny?" Quinn asked, asking the question that everyone was thinking.

"Ladyface here, thinks that Berry is a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz!" She said trying to catch her breath.

When everyone realized what Santana was saying, laughter broke out. Everybody thought it was funny except for Rachel.

"I don't find that funny." Rachel said. " Not at all." she finished taking her seat.

When everyone started to control their laughter, they turned back to Kurt. Noticing that he was in a deep conversation with a picture on the wall of the Queen of England.

Everyone started laughing once again but shut up when Puck told everyone to be quiet. Like Puck everyone wanted to hear what Kurt was saying.

"I know I'm seventh in line for the throne," they heard Kurt say in a British accent." But I want to know," he looked around," If there's any way that I could get to the top of the list?" he asked quietly.

"This is to good," Puck said laughing. The rest agreeing with him. "Someone record this!"At that Mike pulled out his phone and started to record Kurt.

After the conspiracy theory, Kurt got up in front of everyone and started to dance and sing to 'I'm A Little Teapot,' earning more laughs from the others.

When Kurt finished his performance, Blaine entered the room and took sight off his loopy boyfriend and the laughing New Directions.

"Blaine!" yelled Kurt being the first to notice the curly hair ex-warbler. Kurt ran to Blaine and started to kiss him all over his face receiving wolf whistles from the group.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked with a laugh. "You okay, love?"Blaine said trying to get Kurt's attention. But Kurt was still busy giving Blaine's face kisses.

"I'm totally awesome!" Kurt yelled, making rock n roll signs with his hands. Then began to hum 'Judas' under his breath.

Blaine looked at Kurt, then to New Directions, who was chuckling from the scene in front of them.

"What did you guys do to him?" Blaine asked, "Did you getting him drunk," pointing that last question to Puck, who just raised his hands in surrender and shook his head no with a chuckle.

Blaine was trying to pry Kurt's wandering hands away from him when Rachel spoke up. "I think it's a side effect of the medicine," she said. "He wasn't feeling good earlier."

"Yeah, Blaine!" Kurt yelled. "Nobody got me drunk, the nurse gave me these pills, but I didn't know what they were. The guy was speaking Spanish, Blaine, Spanish!" Kurt explained. " I don't know spanish, I just said 'gracias' and chugged it down." Kurt said with a smile.

The room exploded with laughter, even Blaine couldn't control himself and let out a few chuckles. Until he noticed Kurt trying to get his attention.

"Blaine! Blaine! Blaine!" Kurt said. Blaine turned and faced Kurt when Kurt continued. "Blaine we need to have a serious conversation." Kurt said with a serious face.

"Yes, Kurt." Blaine replied nervously, ignoring the oooh's and the oh-oh's from the group.

"I think you need to go to rehab." Kurt said, earning questionable looks from the others and Blaine.

"What? Why?" Blaine asked trying to read Kurt's face and wondering what's going through his head.

"Yes, Blaine. You need to seek help for your two addictions, honey." Kurt said. Blaine still had a questioning look when Kurt continued.

"You need help with your gel addiction,"Kurt started," honey, I love your curls, you're killing all your brain cells with that grease." Kurt said earning a blush from Blaine and chuckles from the others.

"Also, you need help with your obsession with Katy Perry." Kurt said seriously. " There are other artists out there sweetie, and you need to stop singing about 'kissing girls and liking it' and about being a 'California girl."Kurt finished with a pat on Blaine's cheek.

Blaine sighed. "Okay, honey," Blaine said sounding like he was talking to a child, "let's go home and watch a movie, your choice." he said.

"Yay!" Kurt yelled. "Shotgun!" he said, sprinting out the room. Earning a laugh from Blaine.

Blaine let out a long a breath and turned around to face a group full of laughing teens. Blaine went and grabbed Kurt's bag and turned around to leave when he stopped and faced Mike.

"I would delete that video if I was you," he said to Mike, "I wouldn't want to be you when Kurt recovers from this." Blaine turned around to leave and called over his shoulder," Plus, he knows how to use Sai Swords."

When Blaine was gone, Puck turned to Mike. "You're not gonna delete it are you?"

Mike just smirked and said," Heck no! I already posted it on YouTube." Earning another round of laughter.

**Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dude, are you on something? Sequel:**  
><strong>Chapter 2: where Kurt finds out.<strong>

Kurt woke up groggily the next day. He had a major headache and he couldn't remember anything from the previous day. All he remembered was him being sick and going to the nurses office for medication. Then everything after that was a blur.

But Kurt had the most weirdest dream ever. Rachel was a munchkin and something about the Queen of England. He just couldn't quite remember.

Kurt got of the bed and went to the bathroom to get ready, and after he spent extra time moisturizing his face, he was ready.

Kurt grabbed his phone as he left his room and noticed that he got a ton of messages from the Warblers.

'Wow! Didn't know you had it in you Kurty-wes'

'Whatever you're on, we want in, lol- n&j'

Text after text it was all the same. Kurt was utterly confused until Wes so helpfully sent him a link to a video. Thinking nothing of it, Kurt opened the link that almost made him drop his phone.

He watched himself talking to a picture of the queen. Then singing a children song and to top it off he actually told his boyfriend that he needed therapy.

Kurt marched his way into the kitchen. He ignored his dad's and Carole's greeting and when he found his target he went straight to his brother who was happily swallowing down his breakfast to notice Kurt's anger.

"Finn Hudson!" Kurt shouted, causing the teen jump and drop his cereal on the floor.

"Kurt, you okay?" Carole asked as she helped clean up the mess.

"No! What is this Finn?" Kurt hissed and played the video for Finn.

Finn started to laugh, remembering the previous day when Kurt slapped him across the head and glared at him causing Finn to gulp, nervously.

"Umm.. You were loopy from the meds that the nurse gave and you were acting funny so Puck had Mike record you," Finn answered. Finn would feel bad throwing Puck and Mike to re wolves per-say but if it's between himself and those two it's all man for themselves. Especially when it comes to being on Kurt's bad side.

Kurt kept on glaring at nothing in particular before having an evil smile that chilled everyone at the table. They felt sorry for Mike and Puck because whatever Kurt was planning was not pretty.

Kurt drove Finn to school and as soon as they got there Finn was way to happy to get away from Kurt. Kurt was so quiet an that smile was not comforting.

By the time glee club rolled around Kurt was the first to get to the choir room. One after another the gleeks arrived. They took sight of Kurt and left him alone. They kept staring at him stare at the door and when the two people that he was waiting for came in his death glare was set full force that caused everyone to wince.

Puck and Mike was talking about football when they got to the choir room. They immediately stooped when they noticed how quiet it was. They looked up at Kurt and noticed his glare that caused both of them to gulp.

"Hey, princess," Puck greeted only to wince when Kurt somehow intensified his glare. How does he do that? Puck thought to himself.

"Puck," hissed Kurt.

Kurt stopped staring at both of them and payed attention to Mr. Schue who just entered the class. But before he could start Kurt raised his hand.

"Mr. Schue, can I sing something?" asked Kurt.

Mr. Schue gave Kurt a confused look before nodding. The gleeks all watched as Kurt grabbed his bag and whisper something to Mr. Schue. Mr. Schue gave Kurt a hesitant look but nodded anyway.

"This song is dedicated to Puck and Mike, you know why," Kurt began glaring at the two boys.

The familiar song began as Kurt began to sing:

_One way or another I'm gonna find ya_  
><em>I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna win ya<em>  
><em>I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna see ya<em>  
><em>I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha<em>  
><em>One day, maybe next week<em>  
><em>I'm gonna meetcha, I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha<em>  
><em>I will drive past your house<em>  
><em>And if the lights are all down<em>  
><em>I'll see who's around<em>

_One way or another I'm gonna find ya_  
><em>I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna win ya<em>  
><em>I'll getcha, I'll getcha<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna see ya<em>  
><em>I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha<em>  
><em>One day, maybe next week<em>  
><em>I'm gonna meetcha, I'll <em>

Kurt bent down and unzipped his bag and pulled out his Sai Swords. He began twirling it expertly between his fingers. The glee club was amazed at what they saw. The gleeks turned towards the boys in the back and smirked when they saw fear on their faces.

_And if the lights are all out_  
><em>I'll follow your bus downtown<em>  
><em>See who's hanging out<em>

_One way or another I'm gonna lose ya_  
><em>I'm gonna give you the slip, a slip of the lip or another<em>  
><em>I'm gonna lose ya, I'm gonna trick ya, I'll trick ya<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna lose ya<em>  
><em>I'm gonna trick ya trick ya trick ya trick ya<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna lose ya<em>  
><em>I'm gonna give you the slip<em>

_I'll walk down the mall_  
><em>Stand over by the wall<em>  
><em>Where I can see it all<em>  
><em>Find out who ya call<em>  
><em>Lead you to the supermarket checkout<em>  
><em>Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd<em>

_One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha_  
><em>(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha<em>  
><em>(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)<em>  
><em>One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha<em>  
><em>(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)<em>

The song came to an end but Kurt didn't stop twirling his swords.

"Did you guys know that I'm a ninja? Kurt asked still twirling his Sai's, voicing the question to the boys in the back causing both to gulp.

"Something you should know if you ever post a video of myself while under the influence of medication." Kurt said as he stopped twirling the swords to give Mike and Puck a pointed look. Said boys, nodding quickly.

After Glee, Mike immediately erased the video of the Internet and that was the day that Puck and Mike found out that they should never mess with Kurt Hummel. Ninja's aren't the kind that you mess with.

**A/n: Okay I want to do High!Kurt stories. I have a couple already written but I want to know if anyone would be interested in reading it? Prompts are welcomed:)**


End file.
